THE ROOKIE SONG
(sung to "I'm a Little Teapot")
I'm a little rookie, I drink stout,
here are my handles (point to "breast area"),
here is my spout (point to "private area"),
when I get all f**ked up, hear me shout,
"F**k me hard and eat me out!"
YA HOE (HE LAID HIS HAND)
(sung to the tune of "The Ants Go Marching")
He laid his hand upon my toe ya hoe, ya hoe (3x)
I said "Young man, you're rather low
get i, get out, get f**king about ya hoe, ya hoe, ya hoe."
He laid his hand upon my knee ya hoe, ya hoe (3x)
I said, "Young man, you're rather free
get in, get out, get f**king about ya hoe, ya hoe, ya hoe."
He laid his hand upon my thigh ya hoe, ya hoe (3x)
I said, "Young man, you're rather high
get in, get out, get f**king about ya hoe, ya hoe, ya hoe."
He laid his hand upon my breast ya hoe, ya hoe (3x)
I said, "Young man, you've missed the best
get in, get out, get f**king about ya hoe, ya hoe, ya hoe."
YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE
You are my dildo, my twin speed dildo.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Oh please don't take, my batt'ries away.
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping,
I dreamed that you were right inside.
Then I awoke dil, so disillusioned.
You were gone and so I cried.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Oh please don't take my sunshine away.
IF I WERE THE MARRYING KIND
If I were the marrying kind, though I thank the lord I'm not sir,
the kind of rugger I would be would be a rugby...
(one person raises beer to head--group recognizes speaker)
person: Prop, sir.
group: Prop, sir. Why is that, sir?
person: Cause I'd support a Hooker,
All:
and you'd support a hooker,
we'd all support a hooker together
We'd be alright in the middle of the night
supporting hookers together.
2. Prop, sir.
Cause I'd see Muffy's a**. (specific to SUWRFC only)
3. Winger, sir.
Cause I'd never get it.
4. Ball, sir.
Cause I'd get pumped.
Cause I'd get blown.
5. Cleat, sir
Cause I'd get screwed.
6. Fullback, sir.
Cause I'd kick balls.
Cause I'd get f*cked.
7. Groundskeeper #1, sir.
Cause I'd trim bush.
8. Groundskeeper #2, sir.
Cause I'd do lines.
9. Spectator on a rainy day #1, sir.
Cause I'd get wet.
10. Spectator on a rainy day #2, sir.
Cause I'd come in rubbers.
11. Spectator on a sunny day, sir.
Cause I'd come again.
12. Eight man, sir.
Cause I'd sniff butt.
13. Uprights, sir.
Cause I'd get split.
DAYS OF THE WEEK
1.
Leader:
Monday is a Titty Day!
Group:
Monday is a Titty Day!
Chorus:
Leader:
Is everybody happy?
Group:
You bet your a** we are!
(at this point, everyone puts a beer to their head, dances in a circle and sings "do-do-do do do do-do-do-do-do-do-do!)
2.
L: Tuesday is a blowjob day!
G: Tuesday is a blowjob day!
L: Monday is a titty day!
G: Monday is a titty day!
Chorus:
L: Is everybody happy?
G: You bet your ass we are!
do-do-do do do do-do-do-do-do-do-do!
3.
Wednesday is a dancing day.
Tuesday is a blowjob day.
Monday is a titty day.
Chorus
4.
Thursday is a practice day!
Wednesday is a dancing day!
Tuesday is a blowjob day!
Monday is a titty day!
Chorus
5.
Friday is a f**king day!
Thursday is a practice day!
Wednesday is a dancing day!
Tuesday is a blowjob day!
Monday is a titty day!
Chorus
6.
Saturday is a game day!
Friday is a f**king day!
Thursday is a practice day!
Wednesday is a dancing day!
Tuesday is a blowjob day!
Monday is a titty day!
Chorus
7.
Sunday is the lord's day!
Saturday is a game day!
Friday is a f**king day!
Thursday is a practice day!
Wednesday is a dancing day!
Tuesday is a blowjob day!
Monday is a titty day!
Chorus
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